Fantastic letter, Marc. I can't tell you how much I appreciate the work you put in to share your thoughts, creative or otherwise, with us on a regular basis. Reading about you being bullied really hit me hard, I never expected that someone like you, who comes across strong, intelligent, and has a phsyical presence, could be or was bullied. Just goes to show you we are all what we are, and who that is, no one knows, unless they take the time to ask. Thank you, Marc. I send you the best.
The best person I’ve ever known was a straight white male - my father, a scientist and amazing man. He was born in 1931, so you might have expected him to have old fashioned attitudes, but he did not. Instead, as a man in a very senior role, he promoted and encouraged women scientists. He told his daughters they could do anything. He was a constant source of love and support, thoughtful about the state of the world, compassionate to the vulnerable and focused on ensuring the wellbeing of his family. He died eight years ago and my mother, my sister and I talk about him constantly as if he were still here,because we wish so much that he was.
All of this to say: every time someone stigmatizes the straight white male, I think how they would look at my dad as just another old white man - or ‘stale, male and pale’ as the saying goes - and I am pushed away from considering myself part of their team. I will never be able to support any group that judges all other groups by their age, sexual orientation or the colour of their skin - no matter how virtuous that group considers themselves.
This issue really hit me, especially your notes on parenting. Thank you for sharing and hoping you did something nice for yourself this week. Still looking for ideas? Maybe do something in your love language for yourself. Act of service person? Maybe organize/redecorate a workspace. Touch? Get a massage. Words of affirmation could be writing down some of the things you're glad you did or that are going well like how you're managing to parent to best of your ability. Hope that helps, sending tears and love from Canada wooo!
A very thoughtful and deep piece. Not sure if you caught mine yesterday, but I think we are both speaking around the same ideas, from our different lanes, Marc. Keep it up, and maybe let's get a cup of coffee soon.
One of the most important things I keep reminding myself this week is to make sure the folks in our lives, especially those who are hurting, are reminded that they do have people that care about them. I was happy to see similar sentiments in this week's Substack from you. It's daunting, for sure. But the least we can do is support and encourage one another.
Stay strong. Even if you feel sometimes that your words take time to reach the masses, or are in some cases edited down to a nub, know that your words matter. Think about all of the people who read and enjoyed "In Any Lifetime" this year! I'm sorry to sound like a greeting card, but encouragement helps. Very grateful to have your posts to read.
That's some serious multitasking, from the election to self care to helping others to #MeToo to "woke". One more paragraph and I was afraid you were going to weave yourself right into a MAGA hat & straightjacket. (Last thing I did on Twitter was Unfollow Zachary Levy.) Maybe you could take your own advice and make your world small? It's not all on you to save the Democratic party, democracy, cis-het white men, and those who deride them. Family first. And second. And third. You can be fourth. That might be enough multitasking for now, even for you. [this is like my 5th or 6th draft of this comment, finally subscribed and made an account to post it)
I appreciate your vulnerabilty, Marc, and your relating its source and what it costs you to hold onto your compassion. I also agree with your idea to make your world smaller to survive. Black women are doing that right now- gathering ourselves to nurse the fatal blow of our wholesale rejection by America, and protecting ourselves from the shitstorm of liberals already attempting to drain the dregs of our energy with "what do we do now?" I've clocked out, punched out, 'I'm on break,' 'Whatever you need, I got nothing for you.' I now see enemies all around me and must gather in to protect myself. But I see MY privilege - I'm a Black woman with no kids in a solid blue state, have a full belly (for now) and a few resources (for now). Still the rage is in me, marinating in online humor and the promise of karma for the wicked, so I keep to myself.
I think it's too soon to know how I'll feel as all this plays out, but I will say that the death of hope is a terrible feeling. What miniscule comfort I take from drawing in is that even while doing so, those I know (like you) are in a similar struggle and I am not truly alone.
I just wanted to drop a line to let you know how much I appreciate your consistent, thoughtful, honest communication, not just about your process and career but also the world in general. There are a lot of us out here.
Still processing this and probably won’t stop processing for an extremely long time, but I agree with everything you wrote. Thank you for everything that you do.
“ We have to fight for liberal values without being illiberal ourselves. We have to meet people where they are instead of proclaiming from atop our high horses where we think they should be.
Instead of constantly telling people they need to be better, we need to be better.”
True that. But then again, just as in “In Any Lifetime”, we may have to accelerate (truly evolve) and persist in order to arrive in (bring into being) the multiverse we desire.
Fantastic letter, Marc. I can't tell you how much I appreciate the work you put in to share your thoughts, creative or otherwise, with us on a regular basis. Reading about you being bullied really hit me hard, I never expected that someone like you, who comes across strong, intelligent, and has a phsyical presence, could be or was bullied. Just goes to show you we are all what we are, and who that is, no one knows, unless they take the time to ask. Thank you, Marc. I send you the best.
Colour of their skin (was how I ended that sentence!)
The best person I’ve ever known was a straight white male - my father, a scientist and amazing man. He was born in 1931, so you might have expected him to have old fashioned attitudes, but he did not. Instead, as a man in a very senior role, he promoted and encouraged women scientists. He told his daughters they could do anything. He was a constant source of love and support, thoughtful about the state of the world, compassionate to the vulnerable and focused on ensuring the wellbeing of his family. He died eight years ago and my mother, my sister and I talk about him constantly as if he were still here,because we wish so much that he was.
All of this to say: every time someone stigmatizes the straight white male, I think how they would look at my dad as just another old white man - or ‘stale, male and pale’ as the saying goes - and I am pushed away from considering myself part of their team. I will never be able to support any group that judges all other groups by their age, sexual orientation or the colour of their skin - no matter how virtuous that group considers themselves.
All brilliantly well said - thanks so much for sharing your thoughts and feelings with the world
This issue really hit me, especially your notes on parenting. Thank you for sharing and hoping you did something nice for yourself this week. Still looking for ideas? Maybe do something in your love language for yourself. Act of service person? Maybe organize/redecorate a workspace. Touch? Get a massage. Words of affirmation could be writing down some of the things you're glad you did or that are going well like how you're managing to parent to best of your ability. Hope that helps, sending tears and love from Canada wooo!
A very thoughtful and deep piece. Not sure if you caught mine yesterday, but I think we are both speaking around the same ideas, from our different lanes, Marc. Keep it up, and maybe let's get a cup of coffee soon.
One of the most important things I keep reminding myself this week is to make sure the folks in our lives, especially those who are hurting, are reminded that they do have people that care about them. I was happy to see similar sentiments in this week's Substack from you. It's daunting, for sure. But the least we can do is support and encourage one another.
Stay strong. Even if you feel sometimes that your words take time to reach the masses, or are in some cases edited down to a nub, know that your words matter. Think about all of the people who read and enjoyed "In Any Lifetime" this year! I'm sorry to sound like a greeting card, but encouragement helps. Very grateful to have your posts to read.
That's some serious multitasking, from the election to self care to helping others to #MeToo to "woke". One more paragraph and I was afraid you were going to weave yourself right into a MAGA hat & straightjacket. (Last thing I did on Twitter was Unfollow Zachary Levy.) Maybe you could take your own advice and make your world small? It's not all on you to save the Democratic party, democracy, cis-het white men, and those who deride them. Family first. And second. And third. You can be fourth. That might be enough multitasking for now, even for you. [this is like my 5th or 6th draft of this comment, finally subscribed and made an account to post it)
I appreciate your vulnerabilty, Marc, and your relating its source and what it costs you to hold onto your compassion. I also agree with your idea to make your world smaller to survive. Black women are doing that right now- gathering ourselves to nurse the fatal blow of our wholesale rejection by America, and protecting ourselves from the shitstorm of liberals already attempting to drain the dregs of our energy with "what do we do now?" I've clocked out, punched out, 'I'm on break,' 'Whatever you need, I got nothing for you.' I now see enemies all around me and must gather in to protect myself. But I see MY privilege - I'm a Black woman with no kids in a solid blue state, have a full belly (for now) and a few resources (for now). Still the rage is in me, marinating in online humor and the promise of karma for the wicked, so I keep to myself.
I think it's too soon to know how I'll feel as all this plays out, but I will say that the death of hope is a terrible feeling. What miniscule comfort I take from drawing in is that even while doing so, those I know (like you) are in a similar struggle and I am not truly alone.
I agree with you in every word Marc. And wish you all strength to endure these next years.
I just wanted to drop a line to let you know how much I appreciate your consistent, thoughtful, honest communication, not just about your process and career but also the world in general. There are a lot of us out here.
Thanks man. That really means a lot -- particularly coming from someone I admire so much as a person and a writer.
Still processing this and probably won’t stop processing for an extremely long time, but I agree with everything you wrote. Thank you for everything that you do.
“ We have to fight for liberal values without being illiberal ourselves. We have to meet people where they are instead of proclaiming from atop our high horses where we think they should be.
Instead of constantly telling people they need to be better, we need to be better.”
True that. But then again, just as in “In Any Lifetime”, we may have to accelerate (truly evolve) and persist in order to arrive in (bring into being) the multiverse we desire.